Yes, I am in Turkey, absolutely behind my papers and everything related to the NL. I have been doing nothing but staying home, and in 10 days I'm back in Groningen. I don't know how time passed. But I know that the month I spent here was enough to get me re-accustomed to this place. Now, I am planning what to take back with me. Being here right now reminds me how much I've left behind (physically and emotionally) - yet, I prefer to be away.
Since its summer, there are plenty of weddings to go around. Since I'm in Turkey and a part in a collective society, I have to attend them. Oh how I hate it! All the prepping, hair, dress, dancing... Each time I come back from a wedding, I think "wtf am I going to do with this hair?" As exampled below:
I am back, with hopes and promises that I will have some sort of consistency. My first year is almost finishing here; I'm going to Turkey on June 20th although I am not exactly sure if I'm happy with that. Mother says she misses me a lot and therefore I have to stay with her for 1.5 months of my holiday. Upon my objection, she kindly reminds me of the fact that she is paying my tuition, living expenses, etc - besides its my brother who bought my plane tickets, sooo what choice do I have really? I wonder, if I'll be able to meet my friends in Istanbul (or Izmir for that matter) as everything I miss from Turkey is situated in Istanbul, not Bursa.
Schoolwise, I am extremely bored. Now I understand what "research" masters mean, as I have to write about theories, compare theories rather than using them as devices. This was new to me and that I have most difficulty with. I am adapting though, things are looking up. I'm very happy with my job so that's definitely a plus.
And.. the ducklings are out! the cootlings also. The weather is nice. if I can speed up with school work everything will be fine.
I just made a luggage tag on Facebook, through KLM's fan page. I really like those luggage tags because a) they're free (you can also make one!) b) they are sturdy (not paper, but plastic), c) they have enough space to type in both my Turkish and Dutch address d) most importantly, you can put a custom picture. (and they will send it to anywhere, free of charge)
Which is what I did, and then learned that there is this contest.. The one with most votes will get an iPad. considering I have only 10 votes and the leader has +8000, I have to ask: could you vote for me (and my chicken luggage tag)? here's the link:
Apparently, my aunt left her husband two weeks ago. He had been beating her all through their marriage (they are married for more than 40 years) and she couldn't take it any longer. None of us knew. It made me so sad, she is such a nice woman and so much fun too! She makes everybody laugh. I just can't imagine how anyone can ever lay a hand on her.
It seriously has been forever and I really miss livejournal, so I came back! Lets see. Last time I wrote here was on my birthday and that post was oozing with depression. The one before that? Three months ago! I really should write what I've been up to. First and foremost, I have a place and have had it since November but there is nothing in it. I only have a sofa, a chair, a little coffee table and thats all. It has mainly two reasons, first one is that I am poor and without working permit, so I can't afford to buy nice stuff and then, even though I could afford something, the Dutch ask ridiculous amount for transportation. That means I sleep on my sofa, eat on my chair... oh and I have a hamper to put my CLEAN clothes in. On the other hand, I don't stay there very often. I stay with my boyfriend in another city called Assen. I can't move in here because we are still quite new, and also that the Dutch bureucracy is kind of strange, if I moved here the rent would be higher and M. can't get his student benefits for the house because he is living with someone else. Well, if I move anywhere I have to be registered. If I register M. loses his benefits.. and the cycle goes on. Besides, I don't think he is a hundred percent ok with the idea of moving with me anyway, although we practically live together now. oh well.
Schoolwise. I am fulfilled. It took me a while to catch up because all the practical arrangements and stuff, not to mention all my classmates already finished their bachelor degrees here therefore they didn't need to get accustomed with anything, which put me a little behind. Now, I finished one paper, have one paper and two exams to go. then I can go to Turkey for a week or so, but they haven't let me know about the date of one exam and I just don't know for what date should I reschedule my flight oh well.
One more good thing (financially), I have been offered the position for being a research assistant!!!! that was sooo unexpected, since there were so many people applying and my general pessimism.. but I did quite well in interviews to the point that the interviewers actually called the coordinator of my program to let them know that it went well. aha! I will start working on it in February and I will be making money for working only four days a month!!!
They have started showing this commercial for a charity that helps seals here on north... it has "love of my life" by Queen in it! hearing Freddie Mercury on TV multiple times a day reminded me of my love for Queen so I am listening to them all day now. Besides, I want to volunteer at this "zeehondencreche" but I don't know if I have the time/money for it..
I am back! or am I? it seems I have been updating so little. it seems there is so much to write about, I took two holidays in Turkey, both on Aegean coast. both holidays were fun! but I'm so stressed.
I'm going to the Netherlands on 31st of August... FOR TWO YEARS!!!!
why am I not excited? the university is just not emailing me anything. I know this is not standart, as I was in Tilburg University for exchange and they updated me on everything! For example, the school has to apply for my visa and I don't even know how that is going. I need to know how I'll be paying for my tuition and no reply to emails. Hah! its sooo ridiculous, I'll be studying there for two years! I have nooo clue whats going on.
also, I have no place to live. the school said they can arrange housing but they ask for non refundable 300 euros fee (for what?!) and they said even then finding a place is not guaranteed.I checked the available student housing on their website and I think they are small, overpriced rooms where too many people share a kitchen/bathroom. I do not like that. so I thought I can look for a room myself, that non refundable fund is a months rent anyhow! now I'm replying to ads online but I'm not getting any replies a) I do not know Dutch b) I am not in the NL, therefore I can't go to kijkavonds (room viewing) c) because I am Turkish? I don't want to jump into any conclusions but sure, a Turkish girl online who is not in the NL should sound sketchy for a Dutch citizen.
finally, the eggs under my chicken hatched! three of them... there are five more, but perhaps those are not fertilized? I don't know. right now the chicks are being shy, hiding under the mother chicken. they are so cute nevertheless
Spent 1200Kms on road with my brother. we used the last opportunity for a brother and sister bonding. he said sorry for things he did to me when i was a child. i told him he was one of the reasons why i came to feel as if i am worthless. still trying too hard to be loved. now at least i know that he reasons with how i feel. Does this change a thing? i dont know
on the other hand, going to south coast was good. i felt spoıled, having been given such an expensive treat by my brother. (also guilty about the way i feel for the past.) there i could see little fish swimming in the sea. it was so clean and so sunny. i met a turkish/dutch woman who thought i was 'liefde'. for a little while i felt happier than all the kings and queens. But at midnight i turned into my old self, my hopes and dreams turned into a giant pumpkin
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
floppydisco's journal
